is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
