speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
