i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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