Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
