Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
