The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
