Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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