I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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