Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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