I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
