Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
