I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
