he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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