just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
