She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
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Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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