Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
