How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
