I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
