there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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