Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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