Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Such a big mess for such a small penis
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
