So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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