Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
