When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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