NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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