We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
