My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
