Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
