If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I deserve this hangover.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
