I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
