Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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