and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
