I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
