y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
