what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
