and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
