Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
