last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize