The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
