McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
