escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
