oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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