covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I am in a vortex of obligation.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
