I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
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his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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