Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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