so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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