Life is so much better after having sex.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
