tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
