My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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