I'm lost and stupid without you.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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