I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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