You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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