Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
