You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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