JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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