There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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