Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
