I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
