In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
