All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
