she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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