He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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