she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
