i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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