So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
