Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
