I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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