that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
