went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
