they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
