sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
