ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
