Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
