dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
