I must be too annoying 4 u.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
